I love being a mom. I really do. I became a mom at a young age (right before I turned 20) and i was naive in every way. My kids have taught me a lot, and having kids has taught me even more. I understand and love God more, and I'm more grateful for His love and mercy! But some days, like today, I just feel like I need a break.
One thing that deputation taught Caleb and me, is that we are not very good parents. I know there are a lot worse, but we really found out our shortfalls! We have been trying to work on our anger, yelling, and impatience. We really don't believe that a loving household has a place for any of those things, but it's harder to live without them than I ever thought it would be.
With it getting hot, the kids can't play outside for very long. But when they're inside, our space is so limited that they have a hard time figuring out how to get along. And I get frustrated when my only floor is covered in crayons, puzzles, legos, paper bags, and whatever else they got out. I understand kids make messes, but I don't know why that mess has to be on every bed, the kids' floor, and my living room floor. Then they want to watch a movie, play on the computer, and have a snack.
And of course, nobody got that stuff out.
And since everything is out, there's nothing to do.
I love my kids and I thank God for every one of them. But some days it's hard to remember why I love them so much.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
The Angels are Rejoicing!
For the past year or so Kayla has been talking about getting saved, but she is so goofy that we never knew when she was serious. Plus, she was easily distracted so we never pushed. Lela has been interested for a few months now, but when we would ask her about it she would say she "didn't understand yet" so once again, we'd let it go.
This morning I opened "Call To Glory", a Baptist devotion book, to see what the subject was about (sometimes they're not appropriate for kids) and saw that it was about Salvation. I just knew that Kayla would get saved because of it! The devil was really fighting; the phone rang twice while I was reading, Noah couldn't pronounce half of the words in the passage and got mad when I said I would read it, Anna was flinging water all over everyone from her cup, and the girls were more interested in giggling than listening. I had to really fight the urge to give up and just start school!
We got through the devotion which was about Paul talking to Felix about the Lord, and I asked Kayla what she thought about the lesson. She said that everyone has to be saved or they won't go to Heaven. Lela was raising her hand so I asked her what she thought, she said, "Last night when we were praying (prayer meeting at church) I was crying because I knew I needed to get saved but I was too scared." That hit me like a ton of bricks! I didn't notice her crying. So we talked about it and both girls said they wanted to be saved right then! I made sure they understood that they were sinners, that they couldn't go to Heaven because of that sin, and that Jesus died on the cross so they could go to Heaven instead of Hell!
So I texted Caleb and asked him to come home, and he rushed over to the trailer. We talked to the girls and then I took Lela into our bedroom and Caleb stayed in the Living Room and talked to Kayla. They both asked the Lord to save them! Lela was so sweet, I told her what to pray and she repeated and was crying! She was so happy. Kayla was giggly and happy as always and was jumping around the trailer singing every song with the word "saved" that she knew!
They of course wanted to tell everyone they know right away so we went from trailer to trailer telling everyone and then made about twenty phone calls!! It was so sweet to hear them tell what happened and to see their excited little faces. And what a burden that was lifted for Caleb and me! To know that all four of our children will go to Heaven with us is a better feeling that I ever imagined. I am ready for the Lord to come back, before Anna is old enough to understand!!!
This morning I opened "Call To Glory", a Baptist devotion book, to see what the subject was about (sometimes they're not appropriate for kids) and saw that it was about Salvation. I just knew that Kayla would get saved because of it! The devil was really fighting; the phone rang twice while I was reading, Noah couldn't pronounce half of the words in the passage and got mad when I said I would read it, Anna was flinging water all over everyone from her cup, and the girls were more interested in giggling than listening. I had to really fight the urge to give up and just start school!
We got through the devotion which was about Paul talking to Felix about the Lord, and I asked Kayla what she thought about the lesson. She said that everyone has to be saved or they won't go to Heaven. Lela was raising her hand so I asked her what she thought, she said, "Last night when we were praying (prayer meeting at church) I was crying because I knew I needed to get saved but I was too scared." That hit me like a ton of bricks! I didn't notice her crying. So we talked about it and both girls said they wanted to be saved right then! I made sure they understood that they were sinners, that they couldn't go to Heaven because of that sin, and that Jesus died on the cross so they could go to Heaven instead of Hell!
So I texted Caleb and asked him to come home, and he rushed over to the trailer. We talked to the girls and then I took Lela into our bedroom and Caleb stayed in the Living Room and talked to Kayla. They both asked the Lord to save them! Lela was so sweet, I told her what to pray and she repeated and was crying! She was so happy. Kayla was giggly and happy as always and was jumping around the trailer singing every song with the word "saved" that she knew!
They of course wanted to tell everyone they know right away so we went from trailer to trailer telling everyone and then made about twenty phone calls!! It was so sweet to hear them tell what happened and to see their excited little faces. And what a burden that was lifted for Caleb and me! To know that all four of our children will go to Heaven with us is a better feeling that I ever imagined. I am ready for the Lord to come back, before Anna is old enough to understand!!!
Monday, May 24, 2010
It is hot here!
The heat is starting to kick in, here in Southern Kansas! Yesterday it got up to 92degrees and with the humidity, it feels a lot hotter! I'm having a hard time convincing the kids to play outside when I don't even want to go outside. The men seem to be taking the heat well, they all have their big straw hats and plenty of water to drink.
This is our last week of school, and then we will go to part-time school. I'm excited about doing science projects with the kids and learning about different history topics! I have also had my eye on a math program called Math U See. It is a little pricey new so I've been scouting it out on Ebay to see if I can get it cheaper. Unfortunately it's a popular program and everyone wants it cheap, so the bids really add up, especially when you include the shipping! My dad has the manipulatives that he's willing to send me ($30 value) but I still need the Teacher's Manual, Student Manual, Test booklet, and DVD. After I had looked on Ebay and saw that those were going for no less than $50 plus shipping, I decided to try Craigslist, just in case. It just so happens that a man in a town not too far from here is selling all of that except the DVD for $20 and is willing to meet us halfway! Praise the Lord! So I'm waiting to hear from him, when we can meet. God is so good to provide!
It seems our laundry situation is working out for now. The Pastor's inlaws (Titus and Cynthia Mohler) have graciously allowed us NTCP members to use their washer and dryer while they are gone on deputation bouts, so I am able to spend a few hours there washing the clothes, and then I can hang them outside to dry in the natural Kansas wind! Thank you Lord for providing a dryer! I just make sure that I wash the undergarments and towels first so those can dry in the dryer while the others wash!
The building is going well, as usual. They are putting up the corner things, not sure what they're called, and this weekend the trusses will go up for the roof.
Thank you for the prayers and the support! And for reading my lowly thoughts. :)
This is our last week of school, and then we will go to part-time school. I'm excited about doing science projects with the kids and learning about different history topics! I have also had my eye on a math program called Math U See. It is a little pricey new so I've been scouting it out on Ebay to see if I can get it cheaper. Unfortunately it's a popular program and everyone wants it cheap, so the bids really add up, especially when you include the shipping! My dad has the manipulatives that he's willing to send me ($30 value) but I still need the Teacher's Manual, Student Manual, Test booklet, and DVD. After I had looked on Ebay and saw that those were going for no less than $50 plus shipping, I decided to try Craigslist, just in case. It just so happens that a man in a town not too far from here is selling all of that except the DVD for $20 and is willing to meet us halfway! Praise the Lord! So I'm waiting to hear from him, when we can meet. God is so good to provide!
It seems our laundry situation is working out for now. The Pastor's inlaws (Titus and Cynthia Mohler) have graciously allowed us NTCP members to use their washer and dryer while they are gone on deputation bouts, so I am able to spend a few hours there washing the clothes, and then I can hang them outside to dry in the natural Kansas wind! Thank you Lord for providing a dryer! I just make sure that I wash the undergarments and towels first so those can dry in the dryer while the others wash!
The building is going well, as usual. They are putting up the corner things, not sure what they're called, and this weekend the trusses will go up for the roof.
Thank you for the prayers and the support! And for reading my lowly thoughts. :)
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Watch out, Dorothy!
Being in Kansas during tornado season certainly is testing our faith! There have been a few high wind storms and a few rain storms, but yesterday was our first tornado scare! There were storms all the way up through Oklahoma and Kansas and we were waiting all day to see if one would come near us. Thankfully, the Lord saw fit to have the storms go around us and the worst we got was some thunder! Praise the Lord!
There are quite a few families here now (6 in total) and the walls are going up fast! They took yesterday (Monday) off because of the threat of storms and it was misting and cold. But today it is sunny and they've been working hard!
We are going home for a few days starting tomorrow. We have dentist, doctor and eye appointments all set up. Plus, our little Kayla is graduating Kindergarten on Thursday!! She is so excited and she's getting a special haircut tonight to celebrate. I'm so proud of her, she's been working hard and is doing great. Today she read "neck" today without having to sound it out! And the phrase "Can Jill wink?" We were excited.
I have a silly little prayer request, if you could keep it in mind. Doing laundry is getting to be quite a chore, and we need to find a solution. The only laundromat here in Anthony is small (two washers, two dryers) and to wash clothes there I have to spend 4 hours in a tiny room with all four kids, or go back and forth all day which is quite tiring. There is a laundromat in Harper (15 minutes away) but it is really expensive ($2 to wash, $2 to dry) and it only has four working dryers, so once again, I'd be spending a long time there. The only other options are to either do drop-off service which charges by the pound, or to buy a washer/dryer combo so I could do laundry here. Because of space I need to do laundry every 5-7 days and it is very hard to spend an entire morning or afternoon at a laundromat or going back and forth to one. A washer/dryer combo would probably be best but they're around $1000. and we don't have that kind of money! If you could please pray that we could come up with a solution that works best for everyone I would appreciate it! Anyone that has done laundry at a laundromat would understand my problem!
Kayla lost a tooth today, with a little help from Daddy! Now she says the one next to it is loose. We are keeping the teeth in a jar!
On a closing note, anyone have any advice for getting a 10 month old to eat more than avacadoes, bananas and Gerber chicken sticks? She absolutely will not eat anything else!
There are quite a few families here now (6 in total) and the walls are going up fast! They took yesterday (Monday) off because of the threat of storms and it was misting and cold. But today it is sunny and they've been working hard!
We are going home for a few days starting tomorrow. We have dentist, doctor and eye appointments all set up. Plus, our little Kayla is graduating Kindergarten on Thursday!! She is so excited and she's getting a special haircut tonight to celebrate. I'm so proud of her, she's been working hard and is doing great. Today she read "neck" today without having to sound it out! And the phrase "Can Jill wink?" We were excited.
I have a silly little prayer request, if you could keep it in mind. Doing laundry is getting to be quite a chore, and we need to find a solution. The only laundromat here in Anthony is small (two washers, two dryers) and to wash clothes there I have to spend 4 hours in a tiny room with all four kids, or go back and forth all day which is quite tiring. There is a laundromat in Harper (15 minutes away) but it is really expensive ($2 to wash, $2 to dry) and it only has four working dryers, so once again, I'd be spending a long time there. The only other options are to either do drop-off service which charges by the pound, or to buy a washer/dryer combo so I could do laundry here. Because of space I need to do laundry every 5-7 days and it is very hard to spend an entire morning or afternoon at a laundromat or going back and forth to one. A washer/dryer combo would probably be best but they're around $1000. and we don't have that kind of money! If you could please pray that we could come up with a solution that works best for everyone I would appreciate it! Anyone that has done laundry at a laundromat would understand my problem!
Kayla lost a tooth today, with a little help from Daddy! Now she says the one next to it is loose. We are keeping the teeth in a jar!
On a closing note, anyone have any advice for getting a 10 month old to eat more than avacadoes, bananas and Gerber chicken sticks? She absolutely will not eat anything else!
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